


Punchline

by demented_queen



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Carl is alive, M/M, Negan's in the cell, No Smut, Pottymouth!Carl, PrisonerRightsActivist!Gabriel, stupid humor, which is a crying shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 21:45:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14458392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demented_queen/pseuds/demented_queen
Summary: Just a slice of life after Negan ends up in that cell.Gabriel feels Negan should have some rights, like yard time.Rick is starting to rethink the whole idea of mercy.





	Punchline

**Author's Note:**

> Just a way for ME to stretch my writing legs. It's been quite the year with everything going on including a daughter and her wedding and everything in between. This is just me taking baby steps again.
> 
> Stupid piece of humor fluff.
> 
> That's a thing, right?!

 

“What’s _he_ doing out of his fucking cell?!’ Rick groused as he watched Negan saunter up, Gabriel watchfully at his side.

“Rick, this is his yard time,” Father Gabriel responded back reproachfully, as if they hadn’t had this conversation several times before. “All prisoners were allowed time to stretch their legs before; he’s no exception.”

“Yeah, and when you got legs as long as mine, and other body parts,” Negan winked saucily at Rick as he elbowed the good Father, “I need all the extending I can get.  See how I worked the size of my di-“

“For crying out… _Fine!_ He gets a few minutes a day. This is like the _sixth_ time today he’s stretched his legs,” Rick hissed.

“He’s allowed multiple times a day,” Gabriel scolded.

“It’s not even noon,” Rick growled.

Michonne, Eugene and Rosita gathered around the three men.

“You’re out again?!” Rosita muttered while rolling her eyes.

“We can’t leave him cooped up in that cramped space,” Gabriel started.

“We know, we know,” Michonne said as she raised her hands in a surrender position.

Everyone watched as Rick walked away angrily.

“Aw come back. Don’t go away angry Rick!” Negan yelled out playfully to the retreating leader of Alexandria before turning around, a lewd smirk on his face. “I do like watching that man walk though. Quite the view.”

As everyone was about to chastise their prisoner for his indecent behavior, Carl walked up to the group.

“ _Carl!_ Where did you get that nasty bite mark?!” Michonne worriedly cried.

Sighing in exasperation, Carl tuned to throw a murderous look at Negan before addressing the group. “I walked into our kitchen ‘cause I was hungry and there was Gabriel and Negan _standing_ there - what were you guys even doing there - and I said, ‘shit! I’m hungry…’”

“To which I said your father wouldn’t approve of such language, “ Gabriel cut in.

“Yeah,” Carl said as he rolled his eyes and continued, “and then I said, ‘I haven’t had a bite to eat since _yesterday_ ,’ and do you know what this douche did?!”

“You bit him,” Michonne said in a bored voice as she looked directly at Negan.

“Ba Dum Tsh,” Rosita and Machine said in unison, Eugene joining later two seconds too late.

“You’re never in sync with the rest of us,” Rosita said to Eugene, the man pouting as she took him to task.

“Yeah, he bit me,” Carl said in confusion. “How’d you know?”

“It’s the punchline to a really _old_ joke,” Rosita smirked, the barb a hit to Negan's age as well.

“It was funny,” Negan said in his defense.

“Yeah, back at the turn of the century, _last_ century,” Michonne said while she shook her head.

“You do know that in some cultures, biting someone is a marriage ceremony ritual, sealing the couple in the bonds of matrimony,” Eugene droned.

“Ew!” Carl shuddered and walked away.

“Really,” Negan smirked as he stroked his beard, seemingly deep in thought. “I’ll be back.”

 

  
_A few minutes later_

 

  
“What the hell?!” Rick growled as he entered the group again, massaging his hand.

“What’s the matter Rick?” Michonne asked as she noticed his obvious distress.

“That fucking asshole - _Negan!_ ” Rick spat out as he spoke, “ _bit_ me! That wasn’t even the worst part,” he continued as he lowered his voice and tilted his head. “Then he says, ‘now let’s git to the honeymoon! What the fuck does that even mean?” he hissed as he continued to massage his hand.

Everyone looked everywhere but at Rick.

“Oh!” Eugene said as he piped up excitedly. “Ba dum tsh.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments always appreciated.


End file.
